I think it's time to conclude this blog. I had kept it open for months, believing that Stephan and I would eventually end up in France, living our happily ever after as a married couple. I had been thankful that France had brought us together, that I had been fortunate enough to find that perfect someone to grow old with, the way people in movies do.
But as always, life throws curveballs.
For some reason, the wedding is cancelled. I'm not sure I understand why, and I'll likely never truly know the reason for it. I just received an email about a month ago reading, "I've been waiting for a good time to discuss this, but is there ever a good time for such news?" And just like that, it was over. The consulate was called and the fiancé visa was cancelled. I attempted to return the rings (no success), to cancel the bridesmaid dresses (half success), and to heal (success? the verdict is still out on that one).
And now, I'm struggling to find a new future. I moved into an apartment in the city about a week after the world ended. I've applied to Indiana Wesleyan in hopes of acquiring a teaching license for secondary English. In the meantime, I'm applying everywhere for a full-time job that will keep me above water financially.
And now, after all that, it seemed that this blog needed to be finished. I've thought a lot about the anecdotes contained here, about the lessons I learned, and the fun I had. After all that reflection, I've come to conclude that this blog turned out to be a love story--maybe not so much with a person as I would have hoped, but with a country. I loved France, and in her own cold-hearted way, France loved me back, I think. I didn't get the future in France I had hoped for, but France remains an ideal to me. And she has not disappointed.
So, La Belle France, it's been a good ride, but I think it's time to come up with a new dream.
I have loved you very much.
Croyez, Madame, à l'expression des mes sentiments les meilleurs,
Katie
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
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