Monday, October 12, 2009

Atonement

There's this woman in one of my classes...
She looks just like all the other women--head scarf, ankle length robe, dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin. She acts like all the other in class (Me: the word is "Boite". Does that start with "B" or "P"? The woman: Yes! Me: "B" or "P"? The Woman: Yes!) She even has the most popular name--shares it with probably 2/3 of the class.
But here's something new: she's in her 40s and is single. That's very, very uncommon among our women.
I've noticed that she doesn't ever really socialize with the others. She sits on the the edges, only talks when I call on her, and usually is one of the first to leave as soon as we've had our after-class tea. I assumed that she doesn't associate much with the others because they talk about husbands and kids and issues that don't really concern her--obviously, she doesn't have much to contribute to that type of a conversation--, but today, I found out otherwise.
When she left this afternoon, two other women in the class started talking to one another in Tachlhit. Eventually one of the women said in French, "I don't like her." Jan, another teacher, tried to break that train of thought and said something to the effect of, "You really shouldn't say mean things about other people," but the women kept talking and gossiping anyway. They said, "I wouldn't want to be seen anywhere with that woman. She has a bad reputation." And from what they were saying, it seems she's sort of a "slut" in their community.
As a side note, comments like this never cease to amaze me. The woman is bound up head to toe in clothes, clothes, clothes. Not quite the image of slut I have in my head. But anyway...
It turns out, the woman from my class maybe or maybe not had an affair with a married man from Morocco, expecting him to leave his wife for her. He didn't. She's alone. And now, she's in a horrible situation that she can never live down.
If she did what they say she did, it's wrong. I don't condone it. But I hurt for her, and I keep thinking about what they've said and how they looked at her and how they whispered about her after she left. And it breaks my heart, because she's brave enough to keep coming to class even though she doesn't fit in. And every day when she leaves, she leans in to give me the bise, and she says, "You're so very nice."
And in any other culture, I think you'd eventually be able to atone for this type of fault. Maybe you'd have a bit of a stigma, but you'd get past it. And people would eventually get caught up in other gossip and other issues, and you'd become yesterday's news.
But she's stuck. She'll never live this down, and she'll continue to sit in those corners and play with them hem of her skirt and stare at her hands in her lap.
I don't know what words to offer her. Are there any? But I just keep thinking about her.

1 comment:

Leanne said...

Wow, that's rough. I forget what the religious aspects are there, but what a great time to talk about the Woman at the Well. To her or to the class...who knows. I guess we just pray for her to find complete atonement in Christ!