The Bidet

Today in class, we were studying the syllables with the letter B (Ba, Be, Bi, Bo Bu). In our workbooks, we had several pictures of words starting or containing syllables with B.

There was a bathroom sink (lavabo), the act of drinking (boire), a banana (you can guess...), etc. But for Bi, there was a bidet. In case you don't know what it is, I've included a picture above. It's for washing anything out of your lower hemisphere that you don't want there. Since this is a G rated blog, I'll let you do the math...

Anyway, I came across the word today with the women in my class. For this particular word, I was really hoping they'd just circle "Bi", and we could move on. We'd had the word bidet in our workbooks last year, and last year, when they understood less, they didn't question anything. They just circled the right answer, and we rolled along.

Today, I was ready to move on, relieved no one had said anything yet, when one of my students said, "So a bidet is a toilet, c'est ca?"

"No,"I replied. "Not exactly."

"You don't go to the bathroom in it?" she asked.

"No."

"So?" she asked. "What's it for?"

"Washing up," I replied.

"Your hands?" she asked. "It's a sink?"

"No."

"Then what?"

All the ladies held the books up to get a better look at the picture, turning the books this way and that, analyzing the picture.

"Well," I said, "when you go into a bathroom in France, you'll see that there are two toilet looking things..."

"Oui?" she said, looking like she'd seen this before.

"So," I said, gulping, turning more than a little red, "the French people go potty in one and wash up in the other."

She stared at me, still confused. I didn't know if she lacked the vocabulary to understand or if she simply wasn't getting the concept behind the bidet.

After a few more failed attempts, I pulled over two chairs. I sat on one, pretending to be using the restroom. Then, I moved over to the other chair and said, "I'm washing myself." Or if I'm honest, since I was not sure how to best--and most easily--say what I wanted to, I said, (this is my attempt at a direct translation): "I'm washing my butt cheeks." (My poor mother. She'd be appalled!)

"Ohhhhhh...." my student said, and then, quickly translated in Arabic to those around her.

And all the sudden, everyone started laughing, while I quickly rearranged the chairs, saying hastily, "So, lavabo...that containts which syllable with B?"